Self Improvement and Self Growth

Nowadays the terms self-improvement, self-growth and self-help have become popular. We find many books about these subjects and many websites too. It seems that people are turning inside to find the solution to their problems. They seek knowledge, techniques, workshops, lectures and teachers who can show them the way. People begin to understand that self improvement and self growth improve the quality of life.

The subconscious mind is one of the major keys to self-improvement and self-growth. By changing the contents of the subconscious mind you change your habits, behavior and attitudes. This is brought about by thinking, meditation, visualization and affirmations.

The process of inner change requires inner work. It is not enough to read, you have to practice what you read, and this needs time and effort. There is no such thing as instant self improvement. Any inner change takes time, and there must be motivation, desire, ambition, perseverance and dedication. Outer and inner resistance and opposition must be taken into account too. Upon starting any self improvement program, most people usually encounter inner resistance that come from their old habits and their subconscious mind, and also resistance and opposition from the people around them.

The desire to change, build new habits and improve must be strong enough to resist any laziness, desire to give up and the ridicule or opposition from family, friends or colleagues.

Let me tell you something about myself. I have been drawn to self-improvement techniques from an early age, and have regarded them as a source for inner strength, happiness and a way to a better life. One of the most useful techniques that I have discovered was a simple, but very effective technique. It consisted of watching how people behaved and acted in various situations, and then looking inside myself, to find out if I behaved in the same way under the same conditions.

When I saw people with some traits of character, or a certain kind of behavior that I did not like, I examined myself to see if I possessed them too. If I did, I visualized and rehearsed in my mind a different sort of behavior. In my mind's eye I saw myself with the opposite traits of character. I visualized myself in situations, where I manifested the new behavior.

When I encountered traits of character or behavior, which I liked, I used to think about their advantages and benefits and their importance in my life. Here too, I used visualization and affirmations and endeavored to act in this way in daily life.

In this way I have learned and benefited a lot from the behavior and actions of the people around me, at work, at home, in the street and everywhere else, from people in real life, and from watching people on the screen. It was never for the purpose of judging them or taking advantage of them, but for learning how to act, react and behave in a better way. This process had another benefit. It increased the knowledge about how the mind and thoughts influence the behavior and actions of people.

How can you too take advantage of this technique for self improvement and growth?

1. Look around you and watch how people behave in various circumstances. Watch the people you meet at home, work, at the supermarket, on the bus, train and on the street. Watch and learn also from people interviewed on TV, and also from movies.

2. Watch how people talk, walk, and react, and how they are treated by others.

3. Pay attention to the way people use their voice and how they react to others' voices. Watch how you feel and act when people shout or speak softly. Watch what happens when people get angry, restless and upset and what happens if they are calm and relaxed.

4. If you do not like what you see, analyze what and why you do not like it, and then analyze your own behavior to find out whether you behave in the same way. Be honest and impartial in your analysis.

5. If you find that you possess some traits that you do not like, affirm to yourself frequently that every time this happens you are going to become conscious of this behavior, actions or reactions, and endeavor to avoid behaving in that way.

6. Play in your mind a mental scene of how you would like to behave. Repeat it several times a day, every day.

7. When you detect a sort of behavior or character traits you like and desire to possess, try to act in a similar way. Here too, visualize several times each day a scene, where you act and behave in that different way.

8. You can also decide to change some habit and behavior patterns and develop new ones, because you believe they are necessary and beneficial, even without seeing them in others first.

9. Think and visualize over and over again in your mind how you would like to act and behave. Constantly remind yourself of the changes you desire to make, and strive to act according to them. Each time that you find yourself acting according to your old habit, remember your decision to change and improve, and act accordingly.

10. Do not be disappointed or frustrated if you do not attain fast results. It does not matter how many times you fail or forget to behave as you desired. Persist in your efforts and never give up, and you will begin to see how you and your life improve.

There are many self improvement and self growth techniques, but the one described here is simple, effective and easily performed.

Remez Sasson

A Starter Guide To Self Improvement

Staying calm, composed and maintaining strong self esteem in today's tough environment can be difficult but is not impossible if you follow a few simple guidelines. Here are 6 tips you can use as a starter guide to self improvement.

Everything and everyone else around you can affect your self esteem. Other people can deliberately or inadvertently damage your self image. Unchecked people and circumstances can ultimately destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won't even notice. Don't let these influences get the best of you. But what should you avoid?

1 : A Negative Work Environment

Beware of a "dog eat dog" environment where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive and working extra is expected and not rewarded. In this environment no one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch, dinner, and stay at work late into the night. Unless you are very fortunate most of the time you will work too hard with no help from others around you. This type of atmosphere will ruin your self esteem. This is not just healthy competition, at its worst it is brutal and very damaging.

2: Other Peoples Behaviour

Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers - whatever you want to call them, all have one thing in common - an overriding desire to prosper at the expense of others. Avoid them and do not be tempted to join them. They may get some short term advantage with their behaviour but deep down most are very insecure, unhappy and ashamed of their behaviour. For most their self esteem disappeared a long time ago. Seeing someone like this prosper is sickening but do not join them - you are better than that!

3: A Changing Environment

In today's fast moving society it is difficult if not impossible to avoid change. Changes challenge our paradigms and tests our flexibility, adaptability and alter the way we think. Changes can make your life difficult and may cause stress but, if it's inevitable, you must accept it, don't fight it and in time find ways to improve your life. Try to manage change and try to avoid multiple changes at the same time. If a particular change can't be avoided welcome it. Change will be with us forever, we must learn to live with it.

4: Past Experience

We all carry "baggage" - past experiences which have moulded us to who we are today, but some people live in their past experiences - usually something that hurt and still hurts. It's okay to cry out when you experience pain but don't let pain dominate your life as it will transform itself into fears and phobias. If something painful happens, or has happened to you, find a way to minimise the effects. Discuss it with a friend, a family member or a professional if necessary and move on. Don't let it continue to dominate your life and dictate your future actions. Because something bad has happened doesn't mean it will happen again. Learn what you can from any bad experience and move on.

5: Negative World View

The television news is full of doom and gloom and it is true that around the world there are many people suffering war, famine or other natural or man-made disasters. Whilst I do not suggest you should not care and do nothing, remember that there are many beautiful positive things happening too. Don't wrap yourself up with all the negative aspects around the world. Learn to look for beauty too for, in building self esteem, we must learn how to be positive in a negative world.

6: Determination Theory

Are we a product of our biological inherited characteristics (nature) or a result of the influences we absorb throughout out lives (nurture)? I believe how we are is due to a mixture of both nurture and nature and as a result our behavioural traits are not fixed. Whilst it is true that some things are dictated by genetics (for example race, color and many inherited conditions) your environment and the people in your life have a major effect on your behaviour. You are your own person, you have your own identity and make your own choices. The characteristics your mother or father display are not your destiny. Learn from other people's experience, so you don't suffer the same mistakes.

Are some people are born leaders or positive thinkers? I don't believe so. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing on positive experiences for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. No-one will come to you and give you permission to build your self esteem and improve your self. It is in your control.

It can be hard to keep positive, especially when others and circumstances seem to be conspiring to pull you down. You need to protect yourself and give yourself a chance to stay positive. Improving your self esteem gives you that protection.

One way to stay positive is to minimise your exposure to harmful influences while using affirmations to boost the positive influences in your life. Constantly reminding yourself of the good things in your life will keep the impact of negative influences to a minimum.

John Edmond