Self Improvement and Self Growth

Nowadays the terms self-improvement, self-growth and self-help have become popular. We find many books about these subjects and many websites too. It seems that people are turning inside to find the solution to their problems. They seek knowledge, techniques, workshops, lectures and teachers who can show them the way. People begin to understand that self improvement and self growth improve the quality of life.

The subconscious mind is one of the major keys to self-improvement and self-growth. By changing the contents of the subconscious mind you change your habits, behavior and attitudes. This is brought about by thinking, meditation, visualization and affirmations.

The process of inner change requires inner work. It is not enough to read, you have to practice what you read, and this needs time and effort. There is no such thing as instant self improvement. Any inner change takes time, and there must be motivation, desire, ambition, perseverance and dedication. Outer and inner resistance and opposition must be taken into account too. Upon starting any self improvement program, most people usually encounter inner resistance that come from their old habits and their subconscious mind, and also resistance and opposition from the people around them.

The desire to change, build new habits and improve must be strong enough to resist any laziness, desire to give up and the ridicule or opposition from family, friends or colleagues.

Let me tell you something about myself. I have been drawn to self-improvement techniques from an early age, and have regarded them as a source for inner strength, happiness and a way to a better life. One of the most useful techniques that I have discovered was a simple, but very effective technique. It consisted of watching how people behaved and acted in various situations, and then looking inside myself, to find out if I behaved in the same way under the same conditions.

When I saw people with some traits of character, or a certain kind of behavior that I did not like, I examined myself to see if I possessed them too. If I did, I visualized and rehearsed in my mind a different sort of behavior. In my mind's eye I saw myself with the opposite traits of character. I visualized myself in situations, where I manifested the new behavior.

When I encountered traits of character or behavior, which I liked, I used to think about their advantages and benefits and their importance in my life. Here too, I used visualization and affirmations and endeavored to act in this way in daily life.

In this way I have learned and benefited a lot from the behavior and actions of the people around me, at work, at home, in the street and everywhere else, from people in real life, and from watching people on the screen. It was never for the purpose of judging them or taking advantage of them, but for learning how to act, react and behave in a better way. This process had another benefit. It increased the knowledge about how the mind and thoughts influence the behavior and actions of people.

How can you too take advantage of this technique for self improvement and growth?

1. Look around you and watch how people behave in various circumstances. Watch the people you meet at home, work, at the supermarket, on the bus, train and on the street. Watch and learn also from people interviewed on TV, and also from movies.

2. Watch how people talk, walk, and react, and how they are treated by others.

3. Pay attention to the way people use their voice and how they react to others' voices. Watch how you feel and act when people shout or speak softly. Watch what happens when people get angry, restless and upset and what happens if they are calm and relaxed.

4. If you do not like what you see, analyze what and why you do not like it, and then analyze your own behavior to find out whether you behave in the same way. Be honest and impartial in your analysis.

5. If you find that you possess some traits that you do not like, affirm to yourself frequently that every time this happens you are going to become conscious of this behavior, actions or reactions, and endeavor to avoid behaving in that way.

6. Play in your mind a mental scene of how you would like to behave. Repeat it several times a day, every day.

7. When you detect a sort of behavior or character traits you like and desire to possess, try to act in a similar way. Here too, visualize several times each day a scene, where you act and behave in that different way.

8. You can also decide to change some habit and behavior patterns and develop new ones, because you believe they are necessary and beneficial, even without seeing them in others first.

9. Think and visualize over and over again in your mind how you would like to act and behave. Constantly remind yourself of the changes you desire to make, and strive to act according to them. Each time that you find yourself acting according to your old habit, remember your decision to change and improve, and act accordingly.

10. Do not be disappointed or frustrated if you do not attain fast results. It does not matter how many times you fail or forget to behave as you desired. Persist in your efforts and never give up, and you will begin to see how you and your life improve.

There are many self improvement and self growth techniques, but the one described here is simple, effective and easily performed.

Remez Sasson

Varied Senses of the Term

No words are oftener on our lips than thinking and thought. So profuse and varied, indeed, is our use of these words that it is not easy to define just what we mean by them. The aim of this chapter is to find a single consistent meaning. Assistance may be had by considering some typical ways in which the terms are employed. In the first place thought is used broadly, not to say loosely. Everything that comes to mind, that "goes through our heads," is called a thought. To think of a thing is just to be conscious of it in any way whatsoever. Second, the term is restricted by excluding whatever is directly presented; we think (or think of) only such things as we do not directly see, hear, smell, or taste. Then, third, the meaning is further limited to beliefs that rest upon some kind of evidence or testimony. Of this third type, two kinds--or, rather, two degrees--must be discriminated. In some cases, a belief is accepted with slight or almost no attempt to state the grounds that support it. In other cases, the ground or basis for a belief is deliberately sought and its adequacy to support the belief examined. This process is called reflective thought; it alone is truly educative in value, and it forms, accordingly, the principal subject of this volume. We shall now briefly describe each of the four senses.

I. In its loosest sense, thinking signifies everything that, as we say, is "in our heads" or that "goes through our minds." He who offers "a penny for your thoughts" does not expect to drive any great bargain. In calling the objects of his demand thoughts, he does not intend to ascribe to them dignity, consecutiveness, or truth. Any idle fancy, trivial recollection, or flitting impression will satisfy his demand. Daydreaming, building of castles in the air, that loose flux of casual and disconnected material that floats through our minds in relaxed moments are, in this random sense, thinking. More of our waking life than we should care to admit, even to ourselves, is likely to be whiled away in this inconsequential trifling with idle fancy and unsubstantial hope.

In this sense, silly folk and dullards think. The story is told of a man in slight repute for intelligence, who, desiring to be chosen selectman in his New England town, addressed a knot of neighbors in this wise: "I hear you don't believe I know enough to hold office. I wish you to understand that I am thinking about something or other most of the time." Now reflective thought is like this random coursing of things through the mind in that it consists of a succession of things thought of; but it is unlike, in that the mere chance occurrence of any chance "something or other" in an irregular sequence does not suffice. Reflection involves not simply a sequence of ideas, but a consequence--a consecutive ordering in such a way that each determines the next as its proper outcome, while each in turn leans back on its predecessors. The successive portions of the reflective thought grow out of one another and support one another; they do not come and go in a medley. Each phase is a step from something to something--technically speaking, it is a term of thought. Each term leaves a deposit which is utilized in the next term. The stream or flow becomes a train, chain, or thread.

II. Even when thinking is used in a broad sense, it is usually restricted to matters not directly perceived: to what we do not see, smell, hear, or touch. We ask the man telling a story if he saw a certain incident happen, and his reply may be, "No, I only thought of it." A note of invention, as distinct from faithful record of observation, is present. Most important in this class are successions of imaginative incidents and episodes which, having a certain coherence, hanging together on a continuous thread, lie between kaleidoscopic flights of fancy and considerations deliberately employed to establish a conclusion. The imaginative stories poured forth by children possess all degrees of internal congruity; some are disjointed, some are articulated. When connected, they simulate reflective thought; indeed, they usually occur in minds of logical capacity. These imaginative enterprises often precede thinking of the close-knit type and prepare the way for it. But they do not aim at knowledge, at belief about facts or in truths; and thereby they are marked off from reflective thought even when they most resemble it. Those who express such thoughts do not expect credence, but rather credit for a well-constructed plot or a well-arranged climax. They produce good stories, not--unless by chance knowledge. Such thoughts are an efflorescence of feeling; the enhancement of a mood or sentiment is their aim; congruity of emotion, their binding tie.

III. In its next sense, thought denotes belief resting upon some basis, that is, real or supposed knowledge going beyond what is directly present. It is marked by acceptance or rejection of something as reasonably probable or improbable. This phase of thought, however, includes two such distinct types of belief that, even though their difference is strictly one of degree, not of kind, it becomes practically important to consider them separately. Some beliefs are accepted when their grounds have not themselves been considered, others are accepted because their grounds have been examined.

When we say, "Men used to think the world was flat," or, "I thought you went by the house," we express belief: something is accepted, held to, acquiesced in, or affirmed. But such thoughts may mean a supposition accepted without reference to its real grounds. These may be adequate, they may not; but their value with reference to the support they afford the belief has not been considered.

Such thoughts grow up unconsciously and without reference to the attainment of correct belief. They are picked up--we know not how. From obscure sources and by unnoticed channels they insinuate themselves into acceptance and become unconsciously a part of our mental furniture. Tradition, instruction, imitation --all of which depend upon authority in some form, or appeal to our own advantage, or fall in with a strong passion--are responsible for them. Such thoughts are prejudices, that is, prejudgments, not judgments proper that rest upon a survey of evidence.

IV. Thoughts that result in belief have an importance attached to them which leads to reflective thought, to conscious inquiry into the nature, conditions, and bearings of the belief. To think of whales and camels in the clouds is to entertain ourselves with fancies, terminable at our pleasure, which do not lead to any belief in particular. But to think of the world as flat is to ascribe a quality to a real thing as its real property. This conclusion denotes a connection among things and hence is not, like imaginative thought, plastic to our mood. Belief in the world's flatness commits him who holds it to thinking in certain specific ways of other objects, such as the heavenly bodies, antipodes, the possibility of navigation. It prescribes to him actions in accordance with his conception of these objects.

The consequences of a belief upon other beliefs and upon behavior may be so important, then, that men are forced to consider the grounds or reasons of their belief and its logical consequences. This means reflective thought--thought in its eulogistic and emphatic sense.

Men thought the world was flat until Columbus thought it to be round. The earlier thought was a belief held because men had not the energy or the courage to question what those about them accepted and taught, especially as it was suggested and seemingly confirmed by obvious sensible facts. The thought of Columbus was a reasoned conclusion. It marked the close of study into facts, of scrutiny and revision of evidence, of working out the implications of various hypotheses, and of comparing these theoretical results with one another and with known facts. Because Columbus did not accept unhesitatingly the current traditional theory, because he doubted and inquired, he arrived at his thought. Skeptical of what, from long habit, seemed most certain, and credulous of what seemed impossible, he went on thinking until he could produce evidence for both his confidence and his disbelief. Even if his conclusion had finally turned out wrong, it would have been a different sort of belief from those it antagonized, because it was reached by a different method. Active, persistent, and careful consideration of any belief or supposed form of knowledge in the light of the grounds that support it, and the further conclusions to which it tends, constitutes reflective thought. Any one of the first three kinds of thought may elicit this type; but once begun, it is a conscious and voluntary effort to establish belief upon a firm basis of reasons.

Elements in Reflective Thinking

So much for the description of the more external and obvious aspects of the fact called thinking. Further consideration at once reveals certain subprocesses which are involved in every reflective operation. These are: (a) a state of perplexity, hesitation, doubt; and (b) an act of search or investigation directed toward bringing to light further facts which serve to corroborate or to nullify the suggested belief.

A. In our illustration, the shock of coolness generated confusion and suspended belief, at least momentarily. Because it was unexpected, it was a shock or an interruption needing to be accounted for, identified, or placed. To say that the abrupt occurrence of the change of temperature constitutes a problem may sound forced and artificial; but if we are willing to extend the meaning of the word problem to whatever--no matter how slight and commonplace in character--perplexes and challenges the mind so that it makes belief at all uncertain, there is a genuine problem or question involved in this experience of sudden change.

B. The turning of the head, the lifting of the eyes, the scanning of the heavens, are activities adapted to bring to recognition facts that will answer the question presented by the sudden coolness. The facts as they first presented themselves were perplexing; they suggested, however, clouds. The act of looking was an act to discover if this suggested explanation held good. It may again seem forced to speak of this looking, almost automatic, as an act of research or inquiry. But once more, if we are willing to generalize our conceptions of our mental operations to include the trivial and ordinary as well as the technical and recondite, there is no good reason for refusing to give such a title to the act of looking. The purport of this act of inquiry is to confirm or to refute the suggested belief. New facts are brought to perception, which either corroborate the idea that a change of weather is imminent, or negate it.

Another instance, commonplace also, yet not quite so trivial, may enforce this lesson. A man traveling in an unfamiliar region comes to a branching of the roads. Having no sure knowledge to fall back upon, he is brought to a standstill of hesitation and suspense. Which road is right? And how shall perplexity be resolved? There are but two alternatives: he must either blindly and arbitrarily take his course, trusting to luck for the outcome, or he must discover grounds for the conclusion that a given road is right. Any attempt to decide the matter by thinking will involve inquiry into other facts, whether brought out by memory or by further observation, or by both. The perplexed wayfarer must carefully scrutinize what is before him and he must cudgel his memory. He looks for evidence that will support belief in favor of either of the roads --for evidence that will weight down one suggestion. He may climb a tree; he may go first in this direction, then in that, looking, in either case, for signs, clues, indications. He wants something in the nature of a signboard or a map, and his reflection is aimed at the discovery of facts that will serve this purpose.

The above illustration may be generalized. Thinking begins in what may fairly enough be called a forkedroad situation, a situation which is ambiguous, which presents a dilemma, which proposes alternatives. As long as our activity glides smoothly along from one thing to another, or as long as we permit our imagination to entertain fancies at pleasure, there is no call for reflection. Difficulty or obstruction in the way of reaching a belief brings us, however, to a pause. In the suspense of uncertainty, we metaphorically climb a tree; we try to find some standpoint from which we may survey additional facts and, getting a more commanding view of the situation, may decide how the facts stand related to one another.

Demand for the solution of a perplexity is the steadying and guiding factor in the entire process of reflection. Where there is no question of a problem to be solved or a difficulty to be surmounted, the course of suggestions flows on at random; we have the first type of thought described. If the stream of suggestions is controlled simply by their emotional congruity, their fitting agreeably into a single picture or story, we have the second type. But a question to be answered, an ambiguity to be resolved, sets up an end and holds the current of ideas to a definite channel. Every suggested conclusion is tested by its reference to this regulating end, by its pertinence to the problem in hand. This need of straightening out a perplexity also controls the kind of inquiry undertaken. A traveler whose end is the most beautiful path will look for other considerations and ill test suggestions occurring to him on another principle than if he wishes to discover the way to a given city. The problem fixes the end of thought and the end controls the process of thinking.
Summary

We may recapitulate by saying that the origin of thinking is some perplexity, confusion, or doubt. Thinking is not a case of spontaneous combustion; it does not occur just on "general principles." There is something specific which occasions and evokes it. General appeals to a child (or to a grown-up) to think, irrespective of the existence in his own experience of some difficulty that troubles him and disturbs his equilibrium, are as futile as advice to lift himself by his boot-straps.

Given a difficulty, the next step is suggestion of some way out--the formation of some tentative plan or project, the entertaining of some theory which will account for the peculiarities in question, the consideration of some solution for the problem. The data at hand cannot supply the solution; they can only suggest it. What, then, are the sources of the suggestion? Clearly past experience and prior knowledge. If the person has had some acquaintance with similar situations, if he has dealt with material of the same sort before, suggestions more or less apt and helpful are likely to arise. But unless there has been experience in some degree analogous, which may now be represented in imagination, confusion remains mere confusion. There is nothing upon which to draw in order to clarify it. Even when a child (or a grown-up) has a problem, to urge him to think when he has no prior experiences involving some of the same conditions, is wholly futile.

If the suggestion that occurs is at once accepted, we have uncritical thinking, the minimum of reflection. To turn the thing over in mind, to reflect, means to hunt for additional evidence, for new data, that will develop the suggestion, and will either, as we say, bear it out or else make obvious its absurdity and irrelevance. Given a genuine difficulty and a reasonable amount of analogous experience to draw upon, the difference, par excellence, between good and bad thinking is found at this point. The easiest way is to accept any suggestion that seems plausible and thereby bring to an end the condition of mental uneasiness. Reflective thinking is always more or less troublesome because it involves overcoming the inertia that inclines one to accept suggestions at their face value; it involves willingness to endure a condition of mental unrest and disturbance. Reflective thinking, in short, means judgment suspended during further inquiry; and suspense is likely to be somewhat painful. As we shall see later, the most important factor in the training of good mental habits consists in acquiring the attitude of suspended conclusion, and in mastering the various methods of searching for new materials to corroborate or to refute the first suggestions that occur. To maintain the state of doubt and to carry on systematic and protracted inquiry-these are the essentials of thinking.

Self Confidence

Putting your trust in someone else's hands is one thing that many people would not dare risking. However, many are pretty confident that things would work well when done by other people.

These are two very opposite beliefs that man has to struggle through. There are of course pros and cons to these as much as there will always be negative and positive aspects in every choice. The key here is to hit the balance somewhere.

In this article, we will try to focus more on the dangers and the potential harm of trusting your build-up of self-confidence on another person's care.

Most people have the tendency of only having their self-confidence once someone has noticed his capacities of doing things. Though many might benefit from this perspective, we still cannot negate the truth that we humans are much too obsessed within ourselves that we somehow forget to look at another person's beauty specially when that person is not much of a public figure.

And besides, we all have our own struggles to deal with that pondering over other people's capabilities are somewhat set in the back of our minds.

If people don't notice you, it doesn't mean that you have no talents nor you don't add up to the joy of the world. It only means that they are too busy within themselves. Their attention must never be your basis of gaining your self-confidence.

We all have encountered the adage- misery loves company. This is true, troubles would yet find another trouble just to things even up. You cannot build solid grounds for your self-confidence when all the while the person you are talking to is also expressing how low his self-confidence is. You may cheer up each other at times but this is not usually the case. Be sure that when you open your mouth, the other person would only absorb and trash your miseries away and leave you a much better person than you are now.

There are people who seem to have taken the charge of inflicting other people with negative thoughts. These are those who can sleep only after having thought of a better idea to cause a person his downfall. Such people would definitely do you no good. They neither would help you build your self-confidence nor would they even care for you're over all welfare. At the outset, they may show as the most loving persons that you'll ever meet. But beware. They're not there to give you joy. They are there to pull you anywhere but up.

Assure to it that you stay away from such people. There is no basic rule for identifying them, you just have to use your best judgment.

How many times has it been true that a prejudiced judgments would do nothing but to spoil your belief in yourself? Most parents do biased judgments on their children. Sure, they love them and only want the best things for them. There is no harm on this but once they have stepped beyond the line of being healthy advisers, it would time to hesitate and evaluate fully what truly is at hand.

Giving your child with biased opinions is like coercing him into his actual object of fear. There are better ways than making false words just to encourage your child especially when the world says otherwise.

Creativity

Creativity is one of the most coveted traits among humans. While certain experts and philosophers agree that creative faculties are something that all of us are naturally born with, cultivating and making these characteristics grow and flourish into something that would give us the greatest benefits and value possible requires some amount of learning, effort and skill.

It is, therefore, for this reason that many people read up constantly on literature about how to boost their creativity, or awaken their 'sleeping' creative traits, or why others choose to enrol themselves in creativity molding classes and other courses that aim to boost inspiration. Creativity precedes the success of many goals achieved that people are not afraid to chase after it, even if they face some difficulty.

Here are some creativity quotes that have worked for many of us. People have attested to feeling better motivated and fired up after reading or hearing what others had to say about the subject.

J.S. Brown: "Instead of pouring knowledge into people's heads, we need to help them grind a new set of eyeglasses so that we can see the world in a new way."

Arthur C Clarke: "Someone once said that for every problem, there is a solution that is simple, attractive… and wrong."

Albert Einstein: "Problems cannot be solved by thinking within the framework in which the problems were created."

Leonardo da Vinci: "Go some distance away because the work appears similar and more of it can be taken in at a glance, and a lack of harmony of proportion is rapidly seen."

Anonymous: "Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you and just before you realise what's wrong with it."

Mae West: "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."

George Bernard Shaw: "You see things: you say 'Why?' But I dream things that never are: and say 'Why not?'"

Chinese proverb: "When a finger points to the moon the imbecile looks at the finger."

Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu: "As soon as you have made a thought, laugh at it."

Carl Jung: "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

Doris Lessing: "Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases think for yourself."

Henri-Frederic Amiel: "Analysis kills spontaneity. The grain once ground into flour, springs and germinates no more."

Niels Bohr: "There are some things that are so serious you have to laugh at them."

Franklin P Jones: "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger."

Japanese proverb: "None of us are as smart as all of us."

T.S. Eliot "Between the idea and the reality falls the shadow."

Mark Twain: "Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head."

E.M. Forster: "Think before your speak is criticism's motto; speak before you think, creation's"

Albert Einstein: "Curiosity has its own reason for existing."

Walt Disney: "If you can dream it, you can do it."

Henry David Thoreau: "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."